MimmaBenz.com

This is a long overdue post. I’ve been wanting to write this for so long but never found the chance.

I always hear people say that close contact with death changes you. I agree. 40 days ago our friend Myra Sare succumbed to colon cancer. It was quick. They learned about her condition just a month before her death. Usually when people find out about her death and the suddenness of it the first instinct is to check their own health and fear death, a number of peeps in the wedding industry are going for executive checkups soon. But me it was not the effect, instead I wish when I go I would be able to have lived a life as full as hers.  Hers may be a short life (she died at 37 years old) but it was full to the brim, overflowing even.  Her relationship with her kids is one I find myself leaning towards to. I vividly remember how impressed I was with her mothering skills when during the early days of Facebook when we would answer questions and post them under notes… this is hers and it knocked me off my sock! I have a very good relationship with my daughter Kite, we are close and we get along really well but we do have the usual issues, those please do this and do that first and that is what she remember me saying to her most often. But My is different, among all my mommy friends it is ONLY her kids who answered the question this way:

1. What is something Mommy always say to you?
Nik: I love u! 

1. What is something Mommy always say to you?
Max: I love you! 

I remember looking up to My so much after that. Her kids are normal, napapagalitan, nasesermonan, hindi perfect pero I Love You and answer nila. I am a mom and I say I love you to Kite often enough but still it is my nagging she remember more than my I Love You and mine is normal, for My to be remembered for her I Love You’s wow that is super big deal and super telling. Impressive really!

My spent the last I think 5 or 6 years of her life being a full time mom, so she monitored her kids’ every move and every growth and every development, she died not wishing she spent more time at home and less time working or being out with friends etc. I bet you she had a much much greater relationship with her kids than a lot of those who lived up to see their kids have kids! Her kids know and will forever remember their mom even when their mom left them at 13 and 10 years old.  She instilled the right values and characters in her kids. And it is because she stayed home that she was also able to give back to her parents by caring for them and being there for them for their every needs.  She was able to give back and serve her parents back even in her short life. Oh her yaya is with her the past 10 years! At this day and age, who else have such loyal yaya, she must be a really great person right?! Oh the mommies who read this will agree how rare it is to have yaya staying this long. And her yaya spoke too on her eulogy, that is the kind of person she is. Damn impressive right!?!

Her social life wasn’t empty too. She regularly met up with her old gang and her other friends. Heck, she even had the chance to go out of the country with friends, not once but twice! Her last three years was spent going in and out of town, checking in at the swankiest resorts for every possible occasion, her birthday, their wedding anniversary or when there is a great groupon deals; they would also regularly luxe on 5 star hotels in the Metro. She even had the chance to go out of the country with her whole family with siblings and nieces and nephews and her parents. And the designer bags we lusted for years and years ago? She got em, not one not two but lots! Like I told you she did have a charmed life 🙂

Her relationship with her husband is also one for the book. How often can you find a wife so in love with their husband after 14 years? I can feel how much love she have for Bong, as in super in love at kilig na kilig pa din siya kay Bong after all these years. And yes they do fight, as in ekek arte small stuff, like I said their marriage was never on the rocks.  She was able to enjoy so much out of life with Bong. Grabe sobra siyang saya sa buhay nilang mag asawa. Something so rare and something so valuable.  I think she is maybe more in love pa than when they got married, and how many couples can even say that! Grabe right?

She died and there’s not a single ‘I wish’ on her death bed. Not just that but there’s not even a need for bilin as everything is perfect in her world, of course perfect in a relative way, if it was indeed perfect then cancer wouldnt have been in the picture. But as a mom, I think you guys know what I am trying to say. There was no need to bilin her kids or bilin this and that she knew all will be taken cared of perfectly. When I hear people feeling sorry for My, I dont quite agree. I feel sad she wont see her kids grow but her life is so much more full than probably 95% of the people in this world. Her happiness cup is fuller most people too!

Because of My I am now a happier person, I now enjoy and savor each and every single day that I have, every single things that I own, and every single thing that I am able to do, I no longer dream of what I want to have, where I want to go or what I want to achieve but now I strive to have a life as full as hers. I rather live full than live long. I laugh heartier now too!

Thank you My for this important lesson in life. Those who know her or met her will know she is not a loud flashy person, but she is a very steady person, she knows what are the most important things in life and she valued them and she lived her life to the fullest! She never felt the need to brag, to show off nor to upstage anyone, she is happy in her lot. Her life is one of those who got the most quality!  I can’t name a single person who had a happier life than her. Oh, according to Bong she cried when she first told Bong about the cancer diagnosis but never again after that! During her 1 month stay in the hospital, she never cried, questioned nor pitied herself/her situation. I think deep down she knows even with the cancer, she is one pretty lucky person and her life, even that short, rocked!

Thank you for your life and for all that we learned from you. We’re missing you!